Episode 127: Togetherness in Tradition

It’s the start of the holiday season and people are getting ready to celebrate all kinds of traditions. Associate professor of anthropology Dimitris Xygalatas joins the UConn 360 podcast to talk about his research in why rituals and events like holidays are so important to the human experience. Dimitris has performed research all over the world on this topic and explains why in-person events are even more crucial with the rise of social media and electronic communications. He also looks at other rituals like sporting events and how being at a live game brings people together. Dimitris also reflects on what being the parent of a young child means for him now. Leann Garnelis, the Social and Emerging Media Manager in University Communications, joins us as a guest co-host for this episode.

Link to Episode 127 at Podbean

Mike: Well, hello, everybody. This is Mike Enright from University Communications, and welcome to another episode of the UConn 360 podcast. Before we get going too much into this, I want to introduce our guest co-host from University Communications today, Leann Garnelis, who is here. Leann is in charge of all the social media you see for UConn, whether it’s TikTok, the former Twitter, Instagram—I’m probably forgetting a bunch of other things that we do—but Leann’s with us today. Thanks for joining us, Leann. This is fun to have you here.

Leann: Sure thing. Happy to be here.

Mike: So, it’s a little quiet here in Storrs this week. It’s Thanksgiving week, which is the first opportunity our students have here at UConn to really go home for the entire week. There’s no classes, so they’ve been going at it well before Labor Day when they moved in. It’s been a busy fall semester so far, but it is Thanksgiving week and the beginning of the holiday season. It’s a little quiet here in Storrs today.

Our guest today on the UConn 360 podcast is Dimitris Xygalatas. Dimitris is an associate professor of anthropology, but so much more. He studies the things that make us human, as he puts it, but not the obvious ones. He’s interested in aspects like nature, rituals, music, sport, fanship, and other things that help people connect, cope, and live good lives.

His research methods include fieldwork that he has performed around the world, and he’s lived in seven different countries, which we want to talk to him a little bit about. Here at UConn, he’s also the head of the Experimental Anthropology Lab and served as president of the International Association for the Cognitive and Evolutionary Sciences of Religion, which sounds like quite a position. He’s worked as a translator, a photographer, a book editor, and maybe most important to get the human experience—a waiter. We’ll definitely want to talk to him about that as well.

So, Dimitris, thank you for joining us, and happy Thanksgiving.

Dimitris: Thank you for having me. It’s great to be with you.

Mike: So we are here at Thanksgiving, approaching the holiday season with a variety of different celebrations in December and January. Let’s get right into it. Why are holidays and celebrations so important to people, especially the ones we celebrate this time of year?

Dimitris: Well, this is the big question that has driven my entire research agenda for the last two decades. Some of these things, if an outsider looks at them, might seem silly or pointless. But of course, every single human society we’ve ever known has had a set of rituals and traditions that distinguish them. Why are they important? You already said it. These are the things that make us human.

In many respects, these rituals and traditions, from a scientific perspective, seem as if they’re engineered to incite certain feelings, soothe our anxieties, and bring us closer together. In a way, they are engineered. They’re engineered by the forces of selection—and I’m talking here about cultural selection, which operates under the same principles as natural selection. Generations and generations of trial and error have shaped these rituals.

Every single day, thousands of new rituals are created, but very few survive. The ones that persist, the ones that people perform time and again, are the ones that have the capacity to make us feel better and connect with one another. That’s what my research is about: identifying the elements of these rituals and traditions that incite those feelings.

For example, one thing rituals do is align the way we behave and appear. They synchronize our emotions and actions. We all wear the same clothes, dance around the tree, chant at the same time, and fall into rhythmic movements. That synchronization has specific effects.

There’s one thing we call “phenotypic matching.” We’re not the only animals that do this, but we are particularly prone to it. This is the fact that we infer who we are related to based on similarity. There’s a ton of research showing that we tend to hang out with people who look like us. By getting us to act like one another—sing together or engage in the same rhythmic motions—and look like one another by wearing the same silly hats or insignias, rituals bring us closer together.

Leann: I know you’ve lived all over the world. When you’re looking at the United States, do you see that we celebrate holidays and other things differently than other parts of the world?

Dimitris: This is part of what ritual does. Although it’s a human universal—every society we’ve ever known has had rituals and traditions—they also function to distinguish one culture from another. Superficially, these things are very different.

Halloween is a great example. Growing up in Greece, Halloween was just not something we did. It was something amusing we’d see in American films. Of course, now it’s expanding to the rest of the world, but its uniquely North American roots are part of its appeal.

Mike: We mentioned Leann does a lot of work here at UConn with social media, and we seem in some ways as humans to be more connected than ever. Or that would be the appearance, whether through social media or email. We’re constantly on our phones. One might think this constant communication is a good thing and maybe could replace rituals. Is that the case, or are rituals even more important now because so much of this communication we have is what I would call artificial and fake?

Dimitris: The way I see it, ritual is more important to us than ever. You’re right that this appearance of increased connectivity might be superficial or happening at a different level than what we as a species evolved to connect with.

Today, people live farther away from their families, and more of our interactions are happening in virtual spaces. We know that being together physically in the same space is part of who we are as a species. Studies show that interacting with someone in a virtual space isn’t the same as being in a physical space.

It’s different, and in a sense, it’s lesser in terms of what we need as human beings. Physical touch and being together in the same space are important. The fact that we’re here in this studio right now and not on a Zoom call makes our interaction flow better.

Mike: Right?

Dimitris: So I think it’s important for parents raising their children to incorporate rituals into their family experience, especially since everyone is always on their phones.

Mike: Is it more important now than ever for parents to make rituals part of a family experience?

Dimitris: Yes, I would say it’s just as important as ever. Of course, it’s always been important. As a young parent—I have a four-year-old now—it’s really sinking in for me. For example, in my household, we never had a Christmas tree before. We never felt the need. But as soon as my son was born, we decided we were going to have a Christmas tree.

Whatever makes him smile, we’re going to do. Whatever helps anchor him to a particular set of traditions that he can look back on as an adult will be very useful for him. In fact, there are studies that show children who take part in more family rituals develop better relationships and are better adjusted in terms of their connections with their family.

Leann: I’m so excited to start the holiday traditions with my kids. Last year, they were around, but they didn’t really understand what was happening. That’s what I’m looking forward to most as a parent—introducing those rituals. Hearing that it’s still as important as it ever has been is really encouraging.

Dimitris: Whatever else they do, these rituals and traditions are also fun. They elicit warm feelings and, through their regularity, they create nostalgia. They’re something to look forward to. If you don’t follow through with them in a particular year, you feel the absence keenly. When you move away from your home country, as I’ve experienced, these times of year—when you’d typically perform family rituals—are often when you feel the most homesick or melancholic.

Mike: I think as a parent, when you connect your children with rituals, it also makes you reflect back on your own childhood and experiences. It’s really a full-circle moment—a whole 360 experience, if you will.

Leann: Obviously, we’re talking about the holiday season, but it’s also basketball season, which at UConn might as well be another holiday season. What role does sports play in your research? And can you explain how uniquely American college sports are?

Dimitris: I’m doing more and more of my research on sports. I’m also an avid sports fan. I follow my hometown team and never miss a game on television. When I lived in Greece, I’d never miss a game in the stadium.

Mike: What team is that?

Dimitris: PAOK Thessaloniki. And of course, I’m talking about football—the one you play with your feet. What you call soccer here.

The reason I’m interested in sports, especially sports fanship, is the ritual aspect. It’s precisely those ritualized actions between fans that fascinate me—not so much what happens on the pitch. The most important part is the social interactions between the fans, and that’s what builds the sense of community and loyalty to the team.

We have data to back this up. If it were just about the game, you’d get the same kind of effect watching it on television. We conducted a study on basketball games—both men’s and women’s teams here on campus—for a whole year. We looked at physiological responses among fans watching the game in the stadium versus those watching it in groups on television.

What we found was that fans in the stadium had more aligned physiological responses. Their emotions were more in sync, and that emotional synchrony predicted their overall experience of the game and the degree to which they felt bonded to the team. So, for me, the most important part of sports is those ritualized interactions between the fans.

Mike: You mentioned your passion for your soccer team in Greece. What are your impressions of American sports fans—not just college sports fans, but pro sports fans as well? Are there differences between fans here and overseas?

Dimitris: I find it very different.

Mike: In what way?

Dimitris: I remember going to an NBA game with one of my graduate students, who was also European—from Slovakia. A few minutes into the game, he turned to me and said, “This doesn’t feel like a sports game.”

I said, “I know exactly what you mean, but tell me what you mean.”

He explained that in Europe, sports have a more sacred character. In the United States, you have all these things happening on the periphery—cheerleaders, commercials, the kiss cam, and so on. From my perspective, these things distract from the game.

Where I come from, that would be seen as sacrilege. You don’t look away from the game. Even the fact that coaches sometimes talk to the press during the game would be considered unacceptable where I come from. So there’s a sense in which sports in my part of the world are more like religion than entertainment.

Mike: Interesting.

Dimitris: Of course, this comes with pros and cons. From the perspective of sports organizations, having a broader reach helps bring families and children to the stadium. Where I come from, things can get dangerous in the stadium. That’s the dark side. When football becomes religion, it can also lead to very serious rivalries, and sometimes, violence.

Leann: I’ve heard about the chants, too—how specific and, sometimes, targeted they can be.

Dimitris: Oh, you have no idea. The chants are so different. Here, they’re very simple—like, “Let’s go, Huskies!” Where I come from, chants have their own lyrics, and they’re very long.

The length helps build synchrony because you’re chanting together for minutes at a time. They involve narratives and myths, sometimes referencing violent events. They’re also intentionally offensive to the other side—so much so that I wouldn’t be able to translate them here.

Leann: Music is such a big part of people’s lives, but everyone seems to have their personal favorites. How does music bring us all together?

Dimitris: Music functions in a very similar way to rituals. Music is about rhythm, and so is ritual in many contexts. It invites us to engage in repetitive motion, and we’re primed to respond to music.

The first time I saw my little boy dance, I was astonished. He certainly didn’t get it from me—I’m a terrible dancer. But it comes to us intuitively.

When we get together and play music, attend a concert, or hit the dance floor, it’s an invitation to move in synchronous ways—much like ritual dances. Research shows that when we behave in synchronous ways, we act as one, and we feel as one.

Mike: This is going off script a little bit here, but what happens to somebody who doesn’t partake in rituals? What could happen to someone who avoids these kinds of shared experiences?

Dimitris: First of all, it’s really rare to find someone who doesn’t practice any rituals. Often, when I ask my students, “Do you regularly partake in any rituals?” some will say no. But then we dive deeper into what a ritual is, and they realize they actually do.

In their minds, they think I’m asking if they go to a religious temple. But rituals are everywhere—in handshakes, toasts when we raise our glasses, entering a courtroom when someone says, “All rise,” and there’s the sound of the gavel. Rituals are in weddings, graduation ceremonies, and even everyday habits.

So, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who truly doesn’t engage in rituals.

Mike: So, going to the same place every morning for coffee is, in a way, a ritual for somebody?

Dimitris: You could look at it that way. My definition of a ritual is that it’s something with no direct utilitarian purpose. A strictly utilitarian act would be drinking coffee for the boost it gives you or for the taste.

But if you develop a habit of going to the same place every day, or if you insist on using a specific mug each morning—even if you don’t have time to drink the coffee—it becomes a ritual.

Since we’ve talked about children, it’s worth noting that children love rituals and regularity. They pick up on it very quickly. For example, if I ever forgot to bring my coffee in the car before taking my son to daycare, he would immediately notice and point it out, saying, “Papa, coffee!”

Leann: That’s so funny. And honestly, I was just thinking about how even feeding my dog has become a ritual in the morning. My kids, who are twins, have taken it on as their chore.

They each get a scoop of food, and they’re so specific about how they do it. They have to walk to the door first, then I walk to the door, and they each have to use the same scooper every time. Afterward, they make sure the dog gets his thyroid medicine, too.

I never thought of that as a ritual, but I guess it is. And it’s something they might look back on fondly someday—like they were helping out.

Dimitris: Absolutely. If you ask most people what they remember most fondly from their childhood, they’ll often point to things that were regular and repetitive. For example, “Every morning, I’d go with my grandpa to do this or that.”

Leann: It’s not special to me, but it could be incredibly special to them.

Mike: So, I think you’ve lived in seven different countries. Can you give us a quick rundown of where you’ve lived? That’s pretty amazing.

Dimitris: Sure. I grew up in Greece and lived there until I was in college. Until I was about 21 or 22, I had never left my home country or been on a plane. Then, I went on an exchange program to Denmark through Europe’s Erasmus program.

You can go to almost any university in Europe through that program. I remember getting on a plane for the first time on the first day of the new millennium, right after midnight. It was a real rite of passage for me. I remember my mother saying, “My wish for you is that from now on, you’ll never stop traveling.” She was right.

Mike: Always listen to your mother!

Dimitris: Absolutely. So, I went to Denmark for a semester, and that’s when I realized I wanted to be an academic. I went back to Greece, finished my degree, and then returned to Denmark for an MA.

While in Denmark, I met my wife, who is from Spain. We lived in Denmark and Spain together. Then, I went to Northern Ireland to do my PhD at Queen’s University, Belfast.

I’ve spent about two and a half years cumulatively in Mauritius, where I do ethnographic fieldwork. I still go back every year.

At one point, I was working as faculty in Denmark when a group in the Czech Republic invited me to help build a new research center. I spent three wonderful years there before I got my job at UConn.

So, if I’ve done my math correctly, that makes seven countries!

Leann: Tell us about your days as a waiter. What did you learn from people in that job?

Dimitris: You learn a lot about people when you have to interact with them every day. One of the most valuable lessons I learned was the value of hard work.

I started working as a waiter when I was 14. The only reason my parents allowed it was that the restaurant owner was a family friend. But that quickly turned into a regular job. I started working weekends, then eventually spent all my summers and free time there. That’s how I supported myself through high school and college.

What you learn is similar to what you learn as an anthropologist. Superficially, people seem very different, but deep down, we’re all the same.

We all crave food, for instance. And when you look at people’s habits around food, you see both the variability, which is superficial, and the deeper similarities.

That’s also been my trajectory as an anthropologist—and the trajectory of the discipline as a whole. Anthropology began as a study of differences between people, but over time, it has shifted toward understanding the similarities.

Mike: You mentioned your wife and your four-year-old son. What are your favorite family traditions now that you have a child? You’ve talked a bit about putting up a Christmas tree for the first time. It must be interesting blending American and international perspectives on the holidays.

Dimitris: Yes, it is. We try to blend elements of both.

During COVID, when our son was just an infant, we connected with our families via Zoom for all the major holidays. As we’ve discussed, it’s not the same, but it was the best we could do at the time.

Now, we’re trying to establish firm family rituals, like having dinner together every night. We’re failing miserably, but we’re trying!

His favorite holiday right now is Thanksgiving. He’s really excited about it. Of course, Christmas is also a favorite because of the presents and meeting Santa.

We’ll see how other traditions develop as he grows older.

Mike: Well, Dimitris, we really appreciate you spending some time with us on the UConn 360 podcast. We wish you and your family a great holiday season.

Dimitris: You too. It’s been a pleasure.

Mike: And Leann, thanks for joining us today. Same to you and your family. Are you going to be doing a lot of cooking soon, or does that fall to someone else?

Leann: Thankfully, that’s my mother-in-law’s role. She’ll cook enough for the entire state, so if you guys want to come over, the more, the merrier.

Mike: I’m off to grab some holiday pies from the UConn Bakery Shop because my baking skills are nonexistent. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone listening to the UConn 360 podcast. We hope you join us for the next episode!